Monday Listicles: Oh No, She Didn’t
The topic of this week’s Listicle is “Oh no, you didn’t.” I could only think of one thing I did that would fall under this category. However, last night, Twitter was talking about Miley Cyrus and her “act” on the MTV Video Music Awards. Since what she did on stage qualifies as “Oh no, she didn’t!”, the following are 10 different reactions I had to this, um, performance. (If you didn’t see it, here it is, but you can’t unsee this.)
My 10 Reactions to Miley Cyrus’s Trainwreck of a VMA Performance
1. We now know what the “M” in VMA stands for. Hint: it’s not for Music.
2. The foam finger she used to masturbate while on stage is now infected with chlamydia.
3. I give it six months before the inevitable nude pictorial. The magazine in which it will appear it is yet to be determined.
4. Miley Cyrus should be thanking her lucky stars that she isn’t my daughter, because she’d be grounded until she’s 80.
5. I can’t unsee this, no matter how hard I try. There is no brain bleach strong enough to remove this from my mind.
6. Just because you can twerk doesn’t mean you should.
7. Was that a former replacement ref pretending to stick it to her from behind?
8. Is this supposed to be a tribute to Pedobear?
9. Gee, I haven’t seen enough of Miley Cyrus’s tongue? Does she even have one?
10. Remember when Madonna writhing around on the stage in a wedding dress while singing Like a Virgin was considered shocking? I do. And now I feel old.