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Posted by on Aug 8, 2013 | 2 comments

Brainwashed: Having Fun With Something Stupid

In response to bitter ex-girlfriend/wide-receiver Greg Jennings’ claims that the Green Bay Packers “brainwashed” him, I thought that I’d have a little fun with it.

Now if the Packers actually had the power to brainwash people, what would or should they use these powers for?  Good? Evil?  Shits and giggles? Just for football purposes or should there be non-football reasons to brainwash people?

I’ve compiled a list of things I think that the Green Bay Packers should use their magical brainwashing powers for.

 

1. Brainwash the drivers in Sioux Falls to know that stopping at red lights is mandatory and not optional.

2. Find whoever decided that every freeway exit on US  Highway 41 in the Fox Cities has to have a roundabout and mentally convince him/her that this is a really bad idea.

3. Brainwash Joe Buck to be less of a douche.

4. Brainwash some other philanthropist to throw money at all the new things going up in SuFu so people stop whining about everything being named after T. Denny Sanford.

5. Brainwash the organizers of the Sanford-HyVee Legends sports camp that they really need a Packer player to show up every year.

6. Brainwash Time-Warner Cable to get their shit together and put NBC back on their channel line-up. If TWC resists, then the Packers have my permission to use the threats of dealing with a very unhappy out-of-state Packer fan (that would be me) who just spent 8 hours in a vehicle (five of them spent in Southern Minnesota) driving from Sioux Falls, SD to Menasha, WI and NOT having a Packer game to watch when I get there.

7. Brainwash Tony Siragusa into believing that he needs a bra (or is it bro?) for his man-boobs, because sometimes, they get a little too perky on TV, if you know what I mean.

8. Brainwash the NFL Network Game Day panel to use their “inside voices” more.

9. Brainwash the networks that all NFL games should be aired free of charge and without having to buy cable TV or satellite.

10.  Brainwash the city council or whoever is in charge of such things to bring in a Red Robin, Chipotle and Half-Price Books to Sioux Falls.  (The closest RR and Chipotle are in Sioux City, IA and the closest HPB is in Omaha, Nebraska).

These are just some of my ideas. If you could have the Packers use their Brainwashing Powers, what would you have them do?  I’m interested in your responses. If you have an idea, then leave it below in the comments.

Kathy Kramer

Kathy Kramer has words in her head, so she writes them down. Kiki Dee had words in her head, but she only just said them. Kathy has other things in her head that aren’t so great, but that’s what the medication is for.

Kathy is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Plains Magazine and eFiction Magazine. Kathy is originally from Wisconsin but her mid-life crisis prompted her to move to South Dakota because she can’t be like other people and do normal mid-life crisis things like dress inappropriately for her age, get Botox or chase after younger men. No. Kathy has to be different.

When Kathy isn’t writing her author bio in the third person, she likes to make things, she likes to read books, and she likes to go outside. Kathy lives with her husband, whom she refers to in these pages as The Hubby or D.

Kathy also likes to hang out on Twitter a lot, especially during football games. Kathy is a Green Bay Packers fan and has been since she was born. She is also a contributor to NFL Female.com, as a writer about the Green Bay Packers.

2 Comments

  1. I’d like World Peace & to have George Clooney call & tell me he loves me!

  2. If I had to pick one selfish thing for brainwashing it would be to have them brainwash the world into hiring me to do their copy writing or editing. :)

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