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Posted by on Aug 7, 2013 in On My Soapbox | 4 comments

An Open Letter to Greg Jennings

Dear Greg Jennings,

You need to give this Packer bashing a rest. Seriously.

We get it. You were unhappy in Green Bay.  But you’re not there anymore, so maybe it’s time to shut the hell up and do your job.

When you first went to the Vikings, yes, I was irritated with the complete and utter lack of class you showed towards the fans who supported you for all those years you were a Packer. You bashed your ex-team and then never thought to even thank us for supporting you until after your wife thanked us on Twitter.

I’m not even going to get into the Aaron Rodgers’ bashing. You have a problem with him. If it’s that big of an issue, I suggest that you seek counseling instead bashing Aaron Rodgers publicly.

The minute you left the Packers and started bashing your old team, you broke a very important and sacred unwritten rule: Whatever differences or acrimony you have with the team does not get aired in public.  When you exit, you do so with class and grace.  See Tom Crabtree, Al Harris, Chris Kluwe, Aaron Kampman, and numerous other former players who were let go by their former teams.

The smack talk is getting old. It’s not even worth getting angry over anymore because it’s just so undeniably ridiculous. But if there is anything we learned from this is that now we’ve seen your true colors, and it’s embarrassing to even want to claim that you were a Green Bay Packer.

You’re making the Brett Favre-Packers divorce look very amicable.

I don’t know if you’re trying to outdo Brett Favre when he went to the Vikings, and pissed off Packer Nation, but I can tell you that you are not even in the same league as Brett Favre.  Brett Favre is as legendary a Green Bay Packer as the likes of Bart Starr or Ray Nitschke or Reggie White. Brett Favre was one of the 53 other players who brought the Glory Years back to Green Bay.  Brett Favre will get into Canton. His number will be retired.

You just played wide receiver among a very talented and deep receiver corps.  You’re one of the team. You became the subject of a meme. Jay Cutler is the subject of several memes and I don’t see him being even half the asshole you are right now.

I do commend Vikings Head Coach Leslie Frazier for trying to get you to shut your mouth, but I guess your need to hear your own voice and your stroke your own massively over-inflated ego is even too much for him to handle.

What you fail to grasp, Greg, is that ever since March, when you signed with the Vikings, you have now provided bulletin board material for the Green Bay Packers and their fans for the next four seasons. And Packers fans have long memories.

Very long memories.

If you think that you’re going to come back to Lambeau to polite applause, I’d rethink that if I were you.  The boos you will get will make the boos that Brett Favre got look like polite applause.

And just when I think things couldn’t get anymore ridiculous, you’re now saying that there’s?  That we’re brainwashed to think that we’re better than everyone else?

There is so much projection in this statement, I don’t think there is an IMAX screen large enough to hold it.

No, Greg. You’re the one who is brainwashed.  You’re the one projecting your own crap onto the Packers. You’re the one who thinks their shit don’t stink.

Except your shit does stink and I can smell it all the way out here in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

I was actually beginning to wonder if maybe if tin foil hats come standard issue with the Vikings’ uniform.  But then I realized that no, it’s just you being a douchewaffle again.

Seriously, Greg, you need to stop huffing the Old Spice.  Are you sure that groin injury really wasn’t brain damage?

When you didn’t have such a great year last year and you got hurt, I was all ready to defend you from the people who kept saying that Jennings needs to focus less on filming TV commercials and more on football.

However, they were right.

This fame, this “put da team on his back, doe”, the Super Bowl, the endorsements, it’s all gone to your head.  Maybe you were always this way and you just didn’t show your true colors until your hinder became chapped enough because you weren’t getting the ball as much as you thought you should.

Part of me hopes that Leslie Frazier cuts your sorry ass when they have to get down to 53 because he’s decided your diva behavior isn’t worth it. And if he does, I will laugh and laugh and laugh some more. Part of me hopes that he doesn’t, and then when you realize the crappy QB you have now has to hand the ball off to Adrian Peterson all the time because he can’t throw worth shit, and your poor little hiney gets chapped again because you’re not getting the ball and your sister takes to Twitter to insult Adrian Peterson, I hope the Vikings fans turn on you and run you out of town, tarred and feathered, for daring to rip on Adrian Peterson like you ripped on Aaron Rodgers.

See, he may play for the wrong team, but I have a ton of respect for him as a person and an athlete. You could learn something about class from him.

And if Vikings fans do turn on you, don’t come crawling back to Packer Nation asking us to defend you. You’ve burned that bridge already. In fact, I think you’ve burned about ten bridges by now.  You’ve also jumped the shark. I think you’ve jumped it five times now.

So, Greggy, please get over yourself. Your shit not only stinks, but now I’m hearing that they can smell it all the way out in Rapid City. You barely get a mention on the local sportscast and they are all Vikings homers.

In other words, your disgruntled ex-player act is old. Nobody’s buying it anymore, Greggy. Give it up before every fan of every NFL team hates your guts and nobody wants you to play for them and all those sweet endorsement deals you have disappear faster than your chances of ever winning a Super Bowl with the Vikings.

And you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.

 

fhTxNT2

Kathy Kramer

Kathy Kramer has words in her head, so she writes them down. Kiki Dee had words in her head, but she only just said them. Kathy has other things in her head that aren’t so great, but that’s what the medication is for.

Kathy is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Plains Magazine and eFiction Magazine. Kathy is originally from Wisconsin but her mid-life crisis prompted her to move to South Dakota because she can’t be like other people and do normal mid-life crisis things like dress inappropriately for her age, get Botox or chase after younger men. No. Kathy has to be different.

When Kathy isn’t writing her author bio in the third person, she likes to make things, she likes to read books, and she likes to go outside. Kathy lives with her husband, whom she refers to in these pages as The Hubby or D.

Kathy also likes to hang out on Twitter a lot, especially during football games. Kathy is a Green Bay Packers fan and has been since she was born. She is also a contributor to NFL Female.com, as a writer about the Green Bay Packers.

4 Comments

  1. I LOVED the whole thing, but this section specifically made me giggle aloud at my desk at work:”You just played wide receiver among a very talented and deep receiver corps. You’re one of the team. You became the subject of a meme. Jay Cutler is the subject of several memes and I don’t see him being even half the asshole you are right now.”

    That pretty much says it all. :)

  2. Awesome! It couldn’t have been said better.

  3. The BS smell is spreading. I can smell it here in Red Oak, NC. Very well put! I applaud you!

  4. Can smell the stench all the way in SW Oklahoma…..PHEWWWWW!!!

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