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You’re Going to Regret Buying That

This week’s topic for Monday Listicles are 10 Dumbest Purchases. Since I destroyed don’t have any photographic evidence of my own dumb purchases, I’ve decided to hit Pinterest to find things that are just a bad idea and you shouldn’t spend your hard-earned money on. Most of these are collected on a Pinterest Board I like to call Gallery of What the Hell?

1. This Chair

Source: millerpaintblog.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

You know that saying about unicorns that crap out rainbows? Chair meet unicorn.

2. This hat for your dog.

Source:etsy.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

Your dog will hate you and get revenge for having to wear this. It will be a stealthy, passive-aggressive and cruel type revenge. Pooping in your favorite pair of shoes…getting into the bathroom garbage and strewing its contents all over your house when you have the boss or that important client over and it’s the week you’re on your period…that sort of thing.

3. This Fake Animal Fur Sex Rug

Source: wipwapweb.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

Forget that it’s a different kind of “shag” rug. Forget the hip 1970s swinger undressing you with his eyes. This rug looks like it’s a pain in the ass to clean, and more likely than not, Mr. Hip 70′s Swinger will leave that job to you.

4. This Couch

Source: craigslist.org via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

I think this one is self-explanatory.

5. These pants.

Source: Uploaded by user via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

Unless you really do want to announce your presence from five miles away.

6. These pairs of men’s underwear.

Source: kitschyliving.tumblr.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

There is no reason to wear these. Not even ironically.

7. These inflatable air jeans.

Source: Uploaded by user via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

Crunches are less humiliating.

8. This sweater

Source: imgfave.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

Unless you plan on dressing as a Snork for Halloween.

9. This “Art”.

Source: regretsy.com via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

If you buy this, then you’ll spend the rest of your natural life explaining why you bought a woman’s hoo-ha painted up to look like the Virgin Mary. Then it will get awkward. Horribly awkward.

10. Whatever the hell this is.

Source: via Kathy Kramer on Pinterest

 

The caption says “fertility suit”. I call it a criminal waste of yarn. Great Mother of Cthulhu, are those tentacles coming out of the crotch?!?

Kathy Kramer

Kathy Kramer has words in her head, so she writes them down. Kiki Dee had words in her head, but she only just said them. Kathy has other things in her head that aren’t so great, but that’s what the medication is for.

Kathy is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Plains Magazine and eFiction Magazine. Kathy is originally from Wisconsin but her mid-life crisis prompted her to move to South Dakota because she can’t be like other people and do normal mid-life crisis things like dress inappropriately for her age, get Botox or chase after younger men. No. Kathy has to be different.

When Kathy isn’t writing her author bio in the third person, she likes to make things, she likes to read books, and she likes to go outside. Kathy lives with her husband, whom she refers to in these pages as The Hubby or D.

Kathy also likes to hang out on Twitter a lot, especially during football games. Kathy is a Green Bay Packers fan and has been since she was born. She is also a contributor to NFL Female.com, as a writer about the Green Bay Packers.

19 Comments

  1. ROFL, the HP Lovecraft reference totally applies, horror all the way.

    • Yay! Someone got the Lovecraft reference!

  2. I’d pay good money to watch someone put on those inflatable jeans and then go to the gym. Even more if they’d let me tape it!

    • LOL! I’d help make it go viral if you put it in You Tube.

  3. These are horrible! I thought you peaked early with the creepy swinger guy, but then I got down to the vagina altar piece and thought, “Well played.” THEN I got to number 10 and I need a retinal scrub.
    Such a funny list! Ellen

    • LOL! Thanks!

  4. Oh, this is going to be such a good week of listicles…

  5. BWHAHAHAH Coff snort.. Yeah the last one I was like umm is that a weird idea of an owl?? Till I read what it was supposed to be. Umm yeah.

    • I know. I thought it was some weird looking owl at first, too. :)

  6. Laughed out loud at the couch and the sweater! There are days where I’d like to wear that Snork sweater – kinda says “keep the hell away from me.”

    • The original comment on Pinterest under the sweater was “What? No feeties?” I kind of thought that, too, but then I thought it looked like a Snork. :)

  7. BWAH HA HA HA!! We, too, honored Pinterest in our Listicle post and managed not to have a single one in common! So damn funny! Seriously, the couch…oh my Lord!!

    • I’ll have to check it out! :)

  8. Inflatable air jeans….WHO is the person that thought of that one? lol!

    I’m stopping by from Monday Listicles. Have a great day!

    • That’s a 70s thing I guess. I saw another ad for them that promised “massaging action”. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

  9. I was smiling along at all your entries as I was reading down. And then I got to the Snorks comment. Pardon me while I go find towels to clean up the tea I just spewed all over my desk from laughing . . . .

    • LOL! Thanks for stopping by. :)

  10. Too funny!!! That love rug…words cannot express….

    We’re throwing a 60s/70s party for my husband’s upcoming 50th birthday. Some of these items would be perfect for costumes!

  11. OMG! These are hilarious. I don’t even know where to begin. Cannot even think, my brain is oxygen deficient from laughing too hard.